That’s French for “I don’t know what”, a phrase often used in the fashion world to describe that ‘certain something’ about an outfit or piece that you just cant quite put your finger on.
In my case, it means “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with anything”
Today while in the post office trying to apply for my passport (future world traveler, hello), I stood in line for 20 minutes just for the idiotic man at the desk to hand me a clipboard and say “ya need an appointment”. Mind you, I have been trying to apply for this damn passport since the new year but school and moving back in and Netflix gets in the way, of course. After circling some date and time, I stomp away and call Mom. Before she could say hello, I begin to spit out my to-do list, the passport troubles, and the fact that I have no time for anything right now. By the time I make it back to my room, I’m in tears on the floor (with the cockroaches) going on and on about what I need to do and why I don’t want to do it and how I just want to get a damn passport. 0 to 100 real quick (welcome to my life). Lemme just give you some insight here:
- laundry (I’ve worn the same sports bra for 4 days)
- pick up textbook
- return overalls (sorority thing)
- shower (it’s sad that i have to put this on a list)
- eat lunch
- hang with bf
okay it might not look like a lot but i had approximately 4 hours to do it all and then get back to campus for class and all I wanted was to sleep.
Mom does her magic, calms me down, and once again I’m longing for home. So I collect myself, go get my textbook, come back, put clothes in wash, shower, put clothes in dryer, eat lunch, and then folded the laundry. No gym, but I hate the gym (I just wanna get thick af by watching Netflix)… I’ll go tonight…maybe.
Je ne sais quoi
I literally do not know what I’m doing with my life or why I’m even at college when I don’t like it (as much as everyone else does) or why I have complete melt downs over lack luster to-do lists. I really don’t know, which also stresses me the eff out. I don’t know why I’m writing a blog, acting like I have a fan base, when in reality I’m probably talking to myself.
But, I do know that I like to type (I feel fancy doing it) and I like to re-watch shows I’ve seen 10 times already and I do know that I want to be successful in the fashion world and most importantly, I have a firm grasp on what my wedding will look like. These are the (silly) things I hold onto.
I believe we should hold onto the things that calm us, like Mom’s voice, and we should always remind ourselves that we will be okay. “Je ne sais quoi” is a phrase for a reason. we are not supposed to know everything or how to do everything or why we feel certain ways. We are just along for the ride and if you just read through all of that, thanks for being with me on my ride. I hope you enjoy it.
All my love & more,
Miss Bradshaw Wannabe