Final Thoughts on Freshmen Year

*Yes those are crawfish earrings, yes I used hairspray to attach glitter to my body… it was Mug Bug Bash! I had to look wild 😉 

If I had to describe my freshmen year in one word it would be “ehh”.

I think one of the biggest issues I had was that it didn’t meet my expectations. The summer before college, I was pumped. Buying all the (useless) dorm decorations, graduation, and the excitement of the unknown freedom that was just around the corner. After the newness of it all wore off, bid day was over, and I actually had to study for something, my expectations came crashing down. I barley went out and partied, maybe because I had a boyfriend, maybe because my bed was more comfortable, who knows. I also was extremely homesick, and I still am. But last semester it was so intense, to the point of my crying happy tears when I finally got off the exit and entered my beautiful town and the sad tears I cried every time I backed out of my drive way and waved goodbye to family and pets. First semester was hard too because I didn’t feel secure here at State. Didn’t have the kind of friends I wanted, sorority was more like another mom telling you what to do, and your twin bed gets smaller and smaller the sadder you feel.

After Christmas break, my family made me realize that part of this sadness was a little more than just sadness. I was reluctant at first to even acknowledge the thought of it, but after I did, and after I got the help I needed, it opened my eyes to a whole new perspective. With just a little adjustment to how I felt and this blog, freshmen year started to look up.

This semester I have learned quite a lot of things:

  • Happiness is a choice that you must chose every day
  • Chase God, not boys
  • Do your freakin assignments ON TIME
  • The day only has 24 hours, do what you can and save the rest for tomorrow
  • A little effort goes a long way
  • Cook ramen for 4 min to get the perfect noodle
  • Online shopping is dangerous
  • Good music can get you through the toughest of days
  • Being single can be fun
  • Drink one cup of water and 2 Advil before bed after a night out
  • God loves you, no matter what
  • Nothing is forever, so enjoy the small things, and don’t let the big things stress you out.

However, the biggest lesson I learned this year is that God’s plans are mysterious and scary sometimes, but He always carries through and knows what He is doing.

John 13:25

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but you will later understand”

All my hardships, my doubts, and my times of trouble this year have brought me closer to Him. I have seen that I had to go through some stuff and realize some tough things, but it was all in His plan to bring me where I am right now, sharing this with you. “He turns my mess into a message”, as my pastor says.

Freshmen year has been “ehh”. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, as cheesy as that sounds. I have had some really bad nights that consist of endless Netflix and pizza, but also some really good times too. For one, this weekend was 55 hours of priceless fun (and maybe some whiskey), a weekend I’ll never forget, the best one of freshmen year. I have found the coolest group of gals ever who make me laugh every day and keep me on my toes. I have also realized that being alone and being lonely are quite different and that I like being me, just me.

I don’t know what switch flipped in my brain, but these past few weeks I have been utterly calm and at peace with everything. Maybe it is the fact that in 10 days I will be home and not in this 5×5 dorm room, but the constant thoughts of “should I really be here?” and “college sucks” have gone away. I now look at this place as my second home, where some of my best friends are, where the wildest nights have happened, and where I will be glad to spend the next 3 years at.

So have faith, maybe start a blog, and know that the adventure is just getting started.

All my love & more,

Ryann

P.S. please say a little prayer for me as I enter hell AKA finals week 🙂

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