Life Is Hell Sometimes

You can be in a brand new outfit, strutting down the street when a car rolls right through a puddle of mud and ruins not only your outfit, but your day. You study really hard for a test and fail it. You can be born into a family who moves every six months. You can constantly have your heart broken and still be stupid enough to tape it back together and fall for the same boy who broke it. Life freaking sucks sometimes and I often find myself asking ‘why this again?’.

But if you take a second to think about all the hardships in your life, all the times that you fell down and cried and almost didn’t stand back up, you remember that you are here now. You got through those tough moments. You did stand up again and you carried on and frankly, you wouldn’t be the person you are today, or where you are today if it wasn’t for those hardships. Life can be hell, but its hell for a reason.

But sometimes, I cannot take my own advice.

I think one of my biggest flaws, especially at my age and for the fact that the college dating scene is very messed up, is that I over romanticize EVERYTHING. I mean ya’ll, the Starbucks guy at the drive through window one time told me I had pretty eyes and my brain immediately went to “does he like me?” “did he have pretty eyes?” “would our kids have pretty eyes?” ….. I mean come on. Now that I think back onto that moment, I roll my eyes and tell myself I am crazy. But I’m serious. I love love. I am constantly watching wedding shows, YouTube videos of proposals, and fan-girling over random couples I find on Instagram.

All that to tell you one of my biggest issues. I fall for the wrong guys. And when I fall, I fall hard. And when that boy doesn’t show the same interest in me, or even flat out says it, it crushes me. I find myself questioning everything, from my looks, to replaying in my head exactly what I did to figure out where I went wrong, to pretending like I will never find love. Its dramatic, I know.

But today I had a realization. Literally everything bad that has happened to me, I can trace to where it made another moment better, made me better, or worked out in a different way. Everything. It’s simple. God has a plan. He knows where He is taking me and has my happiness as a top priority. So this boy that ends up crushing me is just another step in the direction of finding the man of my dreams. I man who will understand that I love romantics and will bring me flowers and ice cream randomly and whom I will spend the rest of my life with.

Think about it. Think back to that awful moment in your life that made you want to give up. Did it make you stronger? Smarter? More cautious? More adventuress? More loving? More guarded?

It’s like a huge game of dominos. Every brick falls and hits the other if they are perfect in line. But if one brick falls and doesn’t hit the next, the whole line stops and gets messed up.

Everything happens for a reason and we just have to have faith that the bull crap that happens in our life is leading us somewhere amazing. There is something shiny and magical right around the corner, we just have to make it over this hurdle.

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust…. right? (lol)

So next time that boy blows you off or your very hot coffee spills on you or you feel like nothing is, or ever is going to go your way, focus on the promise that He has a plan and there’s something much better happening in the works for you just around the corner.

I hope you keep your dominos in line.

All my love & more,

Miss Bradshaw Wannabe

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